Profile
21
Nanyang Technological University
DOB: 051188
Trying to be a Godly Man
Archives
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
July 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
April 2010
August 2010
October 2010
November 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
July 2011
February 2012
Links
eugenie
Zhao qi
christine
COGS bLOG!!
05S21
Daesiree
charis
Stupid&silly
Timothy
Sharmiela
MArie
Sook Leng
Xiao En
Tagboard
Friday, September 28, 2007
came back from another hard week of training, comes with a free package of an injured knee.. and it still hurts now, although i didnt report sick in order to enjoy this friday night boo kout priviledge..
In the camp was actually emo-ing almost everyday... like why am i fighting so hard for? seeing everyone got gold for ippt and pass SOC like a breeze i was like about to tell myself : 'Face it CX, u cant do it, u are not as fit as them..' then saw my ex-platoonmate from Juliet that he OOC, i meant he used to be rather fit, but rather weak in his mental stress kinda thing... so he OOC..
and i kept asking myself.. why am i still here..
I kept seeking help. reading the bible day by day, seeking help from my loved ones, kept calling them call until no batt, and the batt.. forgot to bring home to charge.. and next week got only sunday morn book out night book in, i think no need call so much le..
everything crashes down... when u juz look it at all the bad parts of ur life.. u really feel like ending it once at for all.. im enduring because im fortunate enough to have at least one good part in my life...
worse thing is when u do a spiritual check on urself, u noe u are seriously sick. it comes in when , u start to have feelings of deciet, jealousy, envy, anger,start to curse, swear, and when u read God's words, its juz words, that doesnt reach my heart as they use to anymore..
I'm screwed...
I;m soo screwed..
because next two weeks challenges ( no rest/book out) will be super duper great... I will have 32 km march, plus 7 missions on the way, onve of them is river crossing so it means marching in soaked uniform and boots, gotta have serious abrasions, and then no rest then we got on to field camp... which means dig shell scrape, foxhole and fire trench.. the thought of it almost make me cry le... how am i going to go thru this...
I'm afraid..
more afraid so when God seems to be forsaking me.
God,
I know u are unhappy with me thru this week lord, for i am unworthy in you eyes, time and time again i said i'll change but when i faced challenges i didnt take the hard way but the easy way out, for that u forsake me.. i'm sorry.. i pray that u could help me put everything back again, to make my life once again fulfilling, and to support all the people around me.. i hoep u could change my heart, change me, make me be the man u want me to be, and pour ur blessings on me lord.. take away my self doubt and fear, and change it into courage and hope not only for myself but for others also...
this is your unworthy servant praying...
In the camp was actually emo-ing almost everyday... like why am i fighting so hard for? seeing everyone got gold for ippt and pass SOC like a breeze i was like about to tell myself : 'Face it CX, u cant do it, u are not as fit as them..' then saw my ex-platoonmate from Juliet that he OOC, i meant he used to be rather fit, but rather weak in his mental stress kinda thing... so he OOC..
and i kept asking myself.. why am i still here..
I kept seeking help. reading the bible day by day, seeking help from my loved ones, kept calling them call until no batt, and the batt.. forgot to bring home to charge.. and next week got only sunday morn book out night book in, i think no need call so much le..
everything crashes down... when u juz look it at all the bad parts of ur life.. u really feel like ending it once at for all.. im enduring because im fortunate enough to have at least one good part in my life...
worse thing is when u do a spiritual check on urself, u noe u are seriously sick. it comes in when , u start to have feelings of deciet, jealousy, envy, anger,start to curse, swear, and when u read God's words, its juz words, that doesnt reach my heart as they use to anymore..
I'm screwed...
I;m soo screwed..
because next two weeks challenges ( no rest/book out) will be super duper great... I will have 32 km march, plus 7 missions on the way, onve of them is river crossing so it means marching in soaked uniform and boots, gotta have serious abrasions, and then no rest then we got on to field camp... which means dig shell scrape, foxhole and fire trench.. the thought of it almost make me cry le... how am i going to go thru this...
I'm afraid..
more afraid so when God seems to be forsaking me.
God,
I know u are unhappy with me thru this week lord, for i am unworthy in you eyes, time and time again i said i'll change but when i faced challenges i didnt take the hard way but the easy way out, for that u forsake me.. i'm sorry.. i pray that u could help me put everything back again, to make my life once again fulfilling, and to support all the people around me.. i hoep u could change my heart, change me, make me be the man u want me to be, and pour ur blessings on me lord.. take away my self doubt and fear, and change it into courage and hope not only for myself but for others also...
this is your unworthy servant praying...
Stupid at 8:34 PM
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Lord i'm doing all i can to be a better man...
A song by robbie williams..
Last week, i made this prayer in church. i wanna be a godly man..
and during the week, many bad things happened.. my soul mate is having doubts, my army life seemed super unpleasent, my grandma hospital bill came..
and i blamed God that how am i going to handle all this... with all this problems, how am i going to be a godly man...
Today, i went to church.. talked to some pple, but yet, feeling rather alone.. and then somehow, this little voice spoke in me and i found out the answer..
A godly man is a man that made godly decisions when faced with problems.
How blind i've been! found out that God is actually giving me opportunities to solve them!
yup.. and i decided.. to do it..
trust in God and follow our hearts, cause only our hearts know what to do...
A song by robbie williams..
Last week, i made this prayer in church. i wanna be a godly man..
and during the week, many bad things happened.. my soul mate is having doubts, my army life seemed super unpleasent, my grandma hospital bill came..
and i blamed God that how am i going to handle all this... with all this problems, how am i going to be a godly man...
Today, i went to church.. talked to some pple, but yet, feeling rather alone.. and then somehow, this little voice spoke in me and i found out the answer..
A godly man is a man that made godly decisions when faced with problems.
How blind i've been! found out that God is actually giving me opportunities to solve them!
yup.. and i decided.. to do it..
trust in God and follow our hearts, cause only our hearts know what to do...
Stupid at 6:03 PM
Thursday, September 20, 2007
my life right now.. chaos..
got into a company which is screwed, which makes my thoughts screwed...
for a moment there, i thought i was in heaven, who noes i ended up at the opposite side of the scale...
all i have that keeping me to carry on is His word...His love
and my loved ones whos supporting me..
found out that actually im a super pessimistic, worry too much and low self esteem kinda guy in army..
tried to change.. but its really really hard process... painful also.. and i get paranoid super easily.. super sian..
God, pls help me.. sigh..
Lord Jesus, your servant here is suffering in pain, may Your holy spirit mould him to become the man You want him to be, and be blessed to glorify your name.. amen..
got into a company which is screwed, which makes my thoughts screwed...
for a moment there, i thought i was in heaven, who noes i ended up at the opposite side of the scale...
all i have that keeping me to carry on is His word...His love
and my loved ones whos supporting me..
found out that actually im a super pessimistic, worry too much and low self esteem kinda guy in army..
tried to change.. but its really really hard process... painful also.. and i get paranoid super easily.. super sian..
God, pls help me.. sigh..
Lord Jesus, your servant here is suffering in pain, may Your holy spirit mould him to become the man You want him to be, and be blessed to glorify your name.. amen..
Stupid at 8:21 PM
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
i want to post a post before booking back into camp and book out next time since God knows when..
And juz in case there are readers out there who really got pay attention to my blog..
yup.. Here goes..
I want to Thank God for everything.. for how this past few weeks for me, had been a wonderful dream to me, how He had greatly blessed me with loved ones who supports me all the way, how miracles happen, hoe he puts my life back in order. and for the amazing break i have for 5 days before booking in.. wonderful...
here i would like to make a promise to my loved ones, my parents, my friends, pple who are close to me.. that i want to be a good son, friend, partner, soldier.
i feel that, all those bad thoughts i had, bad things that i do, should die off from this day on..
because im loved.. by a God most high.. feels unfair if he bless me and i dont bless his gifts if i dont keep myself holy..
and i want to be good to my loved ones too.. i want to be, for once, responsible, sensible, and be true to the pple around me.. so that they can walk with me in the way of the Truth..
yup.. thank you God.. thank u...
And juz in case there are readers out there who really got pay attention to my blog..
yup.. Here goes..
I want to Thank God for everything.. for how this past few weeks for me, had been a wonderful dream to me, how He had greatly blessed me with loved ones who supports me all the way, how miracles happen, hoe he puts my life back in order. and for the amazing break i have for 5 days before booking in.. wonderful...
here i would like to make a promise to my loved ones, my parents, my friends, pple who are close to me.. that i want to be a good son, friend, partner, soldier.
i feel that, all those bad thoughts i had, bad things that i do, should die off from this day on..
because im loved.. by a God most high.. feels unfair if he bless me and i dont bless his gifts if i dont keep myself holy..
and i want to be good to my loved ones too.. i want to be, for once, responsible, sensible, and be true to the pple around me.. so that they can walk with me in the way of the Truth..
yup.. thank you God.. thank u...
Stupid at 9:54 PM
Sunday, September 02, 2007
ok..
here is something i like to share before i forgot to say it out..
ok.. had this cell group in the afternoon in church.. only 4 of us.. so sad.. and my most respected cell leader, who possess such great analysing and leadership skills, melvin, finally help me to clarify some doubts.. super happy..
he came to touch a topic on time management..
and he drew a box that we should be all too familiar..
:[important] [not important]
[urgent] [not urgent]
well, then we came to conclude that we kept focusing on the things that are important and urgent, like studies, working, all those things we worry..
and if u have frequently refer to the WORD, it tells us that Jesus told Martha not to worry..
because only one thing is required.. and that is being with God and know His WORD..
He explained that actually we neglect alot on the not urgent but important things.. like exercising, building relationships and our spiritual life... and when these things are neglected long enough, when the time of need comes, they will turn to become the things that are important and urgent.. this is why, we should focus more on things that are important and not urgent..
after hearing this, the sky suddenly seemed brighter.. like i juz got smacked on the face and God say, its time to wake up.. yup.. haha
Hope this things helps u too..
some other thing i want to share is that i found out how it really feels when u start to love pple around u.. and as in corinthians 13.. thats really exactly how it feels, like u willing to do anything for them.. yup.. seeing my parents helping me to wash my clothes, sew my torn stuff, my dad who buy me things i like, and nice pple who accompany or listens to me when im down.. u really want to say a very big thank you and you know that its not enough..
and most importantly, we must leaarn how to love God too.. yup.. cause he is the one who really gives u all this things,, haha.
oh.. here i want to open to an invitation to any one out there who really wants to know more about who this Jesus i'm talking aboout is and willing to know more, please place a tag on my tagboard and perhaps could invite u over to my church someday.. haha..
here is something i like to share before i forgot to say it out..
ok.. had this cell group in the afternoon in church.. only 4 of us.. so sad.. and my most respected cell leader, who possess such great analysing and leadership skills, melvin, finally help me to clarify some doubts.. super happy..
he came to touch a topic on time management..
and he drew a box that we should be all too familiar..
:[important] [not important]
[urgent] [not urgent]
well, then we came to conclude that we kept focusing on the things that are important and urgent, like studies, working, all those things we worry..
and if u have frequently refer to the WORD, it tells us that Jesus told Martha not to worry..
because only one thing is required.. and that is being with God and know His WORD..
He explained that actually we neglect alot on the not urgent but important things.. like exercising, building relationships and our spiritual life... and when these things are neglected long enough, when the time of need comes, they will turn to become the things that are important and urgent.. this is why, we should focus more on things that are important and not urgent..
after hearing this, the sky suddenly seemed brighter.. like i juz got smacked on the face and God say, its time to wake up.. yup.. haha
Hope this things helps u too..
some other thing i want to share is that i found out how it really feels when u start to love pple around u.. and as in corinthians 13.. thats really exactly how it feels, like u willing to do anything for them.. yup.. seeing my parents helping me to wash my clothes, sew my torn stuff, my dad who buy me things i like, and nice pple who accompany or listens to me when im down.. u really want to say a very big thank you and you know that its not enough..
and most importantly, we must leaarn how to love God too.. yup.. cause he is the one who really gives u all this things,, haha.
oh.. here i want to open to an invitation to any one out there who really wants to know more about who this Jesus i'm talking aboout is and willing to know more, please place a tag on my tagboard and perhaps could invite u over to my church someday.. haha..
Stupid at 7:44 PM