Why do we love?

Dear Blog,

Wha Its really been long since i blogged. But seems like everytime i blog i seem to have bad news..

I just want to rant now.. cause its like everything in my different aspect of my life is crumbling. Thank God my family is still holding strong ( outwardly ) and JL is still around with me..

I know I should have just be accountable to her yesterday and when she corrected me I should have just admit it.. But I never do it on purpose.. and sometimes its like it never came to ur mind.. U just want to go out with a piece of mind if u know what I mean? I mean its not i want to offend her. But I know by keeping that simple SMS in mind will make her feel appreciated. Wonder if the amount of effort put in will have a fruitful results with the right amount of good stuff coming out. But stepping a step back.. Looking at the whole situation, I think its better for me to compromise as i find that its not worth arguing this and making our relationship sour. I need her and I love her. I hope she knows it.

Then came J trying to say all the bad things about the church, the leaders and stuff. And I find it all too familiar as those are the same stuff I complain to JL. Feels wierd trying to like listen and comfort him when I am feeling the same feelings.. Like V hypocrite.. haha.. But really feel the pinch tho.. its like I thought it was bad.. but after i knew others feeling the same I didnt know it was that bad.. Grieved.. Wanted to talk to JL bout it.. but... I guess I talk to her another day..

So I went home hurry dashed out the bible and ask God how, or why, or what can I do.. And as usual i prayed and flip to the last read passage.. Then read. then feel like its just another story in the bible.. Ok.. Maybe partially cause I never do QT for this few days thats why its becoming like that.. But Still Somehow manny pple say run to God, look for answers in the bible, Read the bible.. Then sometimes, I just feel like I duno how. I duno how God can speak to you through the bible. Cause Im not a reader and when I read, God didnt spoke to me.. Wanted to tell JL bout this another day too..

Grieved more.. I then avoid lo.. haha.. Went to install and try out Starcraft 2 that W lend me.. haha at least its fun fun.. I know I avoiding.. but I just dunno how to face reality sometimes.. And sometimes all the christian books advices.. seem to be so ideal that there are hardly any practical ways to achieve it..

So went to sleep, wake up.. And dun feel like going to lab but went anyway.. so Im here.. Finished the project.. Waiting for further orders hence blogged since i never blogged so long.. Ok.. Maybe I'll start praying.. or something..

JL be patient with me ok?