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Roger Soh Cai Xiang
21
Nanyang Technological University
DOB: 051188

Trying to be a Godly Man

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Friday, November 13, 2009

Sigh,

It has been a bad day for me.
I screwed my oral jap test,

and when i reached home, found out that my programming assignment is wrong and I submitted it.

Have a phy test which test me about the last few chapters of physics, got super paranoid about it, then super worried, in the end, ended up with many careless mistakes..

my life is going down the drain tgt with the results.

maybe it is because i got so worried over studies that i neglected God and spend time with him?

I duno..

Stupid at 10:43 PM

Monday, November 09, 2009

Today I started of the day by telling myself: Hey, I need to get things right back with God, although I woke up late I managed to squeexe some time for God in prayer..

and I prayed according to the Lord's prayer i learnt in cell yesterdAY.

THen after i went to physics tutorial and lecture, i came back feeling super duper low. and then suddenly God went out of my life again.

I became like peter, worried that i'll sink..
I couldnt understand anything i study. or couldnt even remember. Trm is my jap listening test, and I dun even fully remember all the vocabs and stuff..

Thing is i have put in effort. I did study.. but I have to agree.. not effectively tho.

almost at the verge of breaking down then suddenly heard the song by chris tomlin, was wearing my earphones to study to block out the noise.

The song was unfailing love.

You have my heart
And I am Yours forever
You are my strength
God of grace and power

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My unfailing love
Unfailing love

You are my rock
The one I hold on to
You are my song
And I sing for You

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still You make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love
Unfailing love

And everything You hold in Your hand
Still you make time for me
I can't understand
Praise You God of Earth and sky
How beautiful is Your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love
Unfailing love

I will praise You
Praise you God of earth and sky
How beautiful is your unfailing love
Unfailing love

And You never change God You remain
The Holy One
My Unfailing love

Unfailing love
Unfailing love
Unfailing love
Unfailing love
Unfailing love

Super beautiful song..

I dun understand why am i going thru this, and I know i feel screwed up most probably is because something I have done, but some how as the verse of the song says everything is in His Hand and HE make time for me.

I just nearly teared.

I shoved Him away, but He just wanted me to be back. I ignored Him, yet He is right here with me right now when I needed Him the most.

His unfailing love.

I going to pray for His grace and mercy for my exams. and hopefully I can do my best. remember His love.

Stupid at 10:08 PM

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Everyday they pass me by,
I can see it in their eyes.
Empty people filled with care,
Headed who knows where?

On they go through private pain,
Living fear to fear.
Laughter hides their silent cries,
Only Jesus hears.

People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
At the end of broken dreams, He's the open door.
People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
When will we realize, people need the Lord?

We are called to take His light
To a world where wrong seems right.
What could be too great a cost
For sharing Life with one who's lost?

Through His love our hearts can feel
All the grief they bear.
They must hear the Words of Life
Only we can share.

People need the Lord, people need the Lord
At the end of broken dreams, He's the open door.
People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
When will we realize that we must give our lives,
For people need the Lord.
~Steve Green

Today during Sunday school we sand this song, and it is very meaningful. Many times many people pass us by, we know they need the Lord although they refuse to accept him, and sometimes, we just give up, forget about telling them about God, and forget telling them especially through our actions.

As i was singing i was running across my mind those who i have met everyday, and I know they need Him, everybody needs Him. Even I need him, after being a christian for 4 years, I still far from where Jesus is. Still so many things to learn from Jesus.

We can run away, shy away, ignore the fact, shut our eyes, turn our heads away. But nothing can make us deny that.. we need the Lord.

Stupid at 7:24 PM

Friday, November 06, 2009

Happy 21St to me..

today is my 21st birthday and it marks my life as the beginning of adulthood.

And the same question ponders my mind every single birthday, did i become a better man than last year?

My 21st birthday wish was to become a Godly man, a man who fears God, loves God, loves man.

I'm far from my target. way far, so many things to work on and stuff, and its really intangible, hard to count. Really pray that I may have a transformation in my life.
Many times, i think of the things I had, has or have been doing, I though : 'hey i could have done it in another better way' but most of the time i didn't. And in the end missed the opportunity to live as a proper christian.

It marks the start of manhood, I hope i can grow up to be the real man, a man like Jesus.Blameless and upright.

That would be my wish above all.

Secondly i wish for wisdom, Really want to be smart in tackling things sometimes, and even in academics, knowing how to juggle my messy life properly.

Wisdom and godliness. I pray that God answers my prayers..

Stupid at 12:41 AM

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