Why do we love?

Its been a long time since i've blogged..

Yesterday I had my 21st birthday party and I really thank God for it, get to see all my friends, they came and really showered their love and care for me. Really felt grateful and thankful.

However today, right now, i feel very emo now..
Remembering that I have to get to school on monday..

Then also all my grades aren't really high flying, failed maths quiz, programming just passed, and my phy i spending half the time reading the text book and still dun get the concept.. Felt so helpless and crying doesn't help..

To make things worse, i think i am a terrible boyfren, didnt even really make my girl happy today, in fact, harmed her quite a few times unintentionally, only can slap myself and say that i am stupid stupid,

and yup im ballooning, growing into a fat bub. Wens is slimming down which give him more opportunity to suan me and stuff.. I give up le, being fat cause me to be more stupid, foolish and being idiotic. Sigh.. have no idea what am i turning into as i enter adult hood.

Gotta pray more and ask God whats wrong with my life.. I think my prayer life is really unhealthy, and my relationship check up have been procrastinating.. Argh..
Feel so many things to dom and can never complete one. sick and sian, just want to end everything once and for all..

hope i have a better post next time.