Why do we love?

i felt that although im in j2 now, im still v shag, not as intense as i was in j1... where i studied like hell for tests and such, but now, i juz do some flipping and went online... my standards had been droppng, and this resulted in further copying of work and such, keeping me in a cycle to deprove myself.. gotta break free of the cycle some how..

i juz received the news that the o level results are being released this friday... wat will happen to me.. i really duno, i'm too afraid to think about it

if i fail, i leave the college, go poly most likely, and begin everythin all over again, with new frens, losing old ones, and also losing all the glamour i had in jc..

if i pass, i stay in jc, keeping my frens and memories, yet, with such my deproving standards, i doubt i can catch up so soon...

it is an irony here, seems like i have faced my road block in life, yet of course i do hope to stay and be a pioneer, but each have its pros an cons, i duno wat will happen to me in the future, god, pls help me..

further more, im carring a debt recently, 645 dollars of debt, thanx to archery, i dun even noe why i agreed to pay the first place, but i hope it really will bring me to some place instead of juz being a past time... it will be such a waste as a hobby..

everyone seems so distant to me suddenly, like i dun noe them anymore, i guess time had made dreams into memories...

its gonna be that time of the year again, juz 4 days after the release of results, and everytime i think of it, i had mixed feelings of sadness, fear and anger. and i'm sure that this year will be much more exciting with the extra flavour of the results.. if onli i could juz escape from the world momentarily like how u juz quit a game and start playing it later...

may the Gods bless all of us...

Wishing you a happy valentine...