Why do we love?

having a great headache now..
done so many things that i noe i should apologise to..

i lied to parents.. saying that i noe i failed but haven get back the paper..

i lied to my fren, from a prank to a leak of secret information... now having fear of being vindicated..

i lied to myself... for not doing well, doing what i should do, and keeping my promise...

life juz seems to get from grey to black this days...

i recall back wats wrong with me or my life and what have i done wrong.. i recall by thinking the mistakes i made in my sec sch, where i learn the valuable things.. but i cant think of any, cause i duno what have i caused this time round... the problem may not be visible, but i noe that it is there.. and i think im the only one that can see it...

and i think this time its worse then what i have in my sec sch... last time, no matter what happens, good or bad, sharmiela is always around to talk with.. now, who can i talk with now? i suddenly miss her so much... and i noe she is facing several problems as i am right now..

but why didnt i leave? as in why didnt i just give up?

because there is still much work to do....

sorry readers for the ambiguity of this entry, cause even me myself also wasn't sure about what is the problem with me or my life...