Why do we love?

4 more days to becoming a coporal...

kept consouling myself that others took 2 years to becoming a coporal while i only took 5 months..

got a premonition that i would go to ASLC, becoming a 3rd sgt... feeling abit sad, a bit happy, a bit emotionless...

still couldnt pass SOC though.. failed by 7 seconds.. but finally, i could clear every obstacles one shot.. felt very happy the other day... guess i go ASLC then start training for it ba...

currently, feeling a bit.. souless... like have no purpose, no true emotions, no nothing.. even book out doesnt have that kick of going home is shiok anymore..

perhaps its because that I had been very very far away from God.. God beggining to take away my purpose? been stop doing quiet time, stop believing and even stop praying..

what's make it worst is that lotsa people around depend on me to share christ with them, to help them know the truth.. and if i fall in my faith, there goes theirs too.. people like my parents, who do not hear me preaching anymore, so their faith is like, shaky.. Wens, i duno.. maybe i should give him some spritual support, but like now, never... and also, lotsa my bunk mates, who very enthsiastically wanna noe who is Jesus, and i juz, well, sad to say, push them away temporarily cause i'm lazy to preach... yup.. Sinner me...

no wonder i had been feeling empty...

got to start soon, before i , or anyone aroundme back slide...

here is something i want to share with people all of u out there...

it happened to me as in the first few weeks of sispec, i am not adjusted to the environment yet, i hated being there, therefore, i treasure my family, my friends, all those who are close to me..
and like a few weeks later, where i adjusted liao, and started to find that the environment is fun, i start to feel that my family friends and even pple who are close, redundant, boredom, and even fustrating..

Did they change? I asked my self... I think i did...

I guess this is what God meant when he refered to clouded by earthly things..

sometimes, when we are clouded withsudden burst of emotions of attractions, desires for earthly things, we tend to gt blinded and deviate from what our heart wants the most...
Like when a man saw a super hot girl, he tend to forgets the wife he had who gone thru thick and thin with him for 20 years.
Or like, when we found a new group of friends, we tend to forget friends who sacrificed so much for u..
Or like, we love to go out, drink play, have fun, we tend to forget about being quiet and be there to worship God..

thats why.. sometimes, before we go WOW and indulge ourselves in fun, laughter and insanity, its good to stop, take a step back, and think.. what is important to u and who u should spend time with..

yup... it applies to me alot.. this principle.. hope it doesnt happen in your life too..

Stupid me..